i'm on a roll

last night i made a promise to myself that i'd actually go out...into the big bad world..and actually apply for jobs.
but 5 seconds later i checked my email and i might possibly have a nanny job--'interview' is on tuesday afternoon. so i just got back from running..now i will wash my smelly cloths.shower.and make myself look like i went somewhere. i'm going to lie to my uncles about applying for jobs. let's see...there's whole foods, target, a few restaurants here and there, office max, and so on. ahhh lies lies lies.i'll probably actually do it tomorrow before my audition--or friday. damn. no motivation. blahhh.
i am going to go running again tonight though, before rehearsal. because i'm a cow who's weight loss has plateaued. at 137. i came here at 132. i need to stop with the carbs.and the fruit.and the sugar.and the food.

does that baby food diet really work?...sometimes the smell makes me gag, kind of scared to try it.but i will do anything right now to lose this freking weight.

frustrated.

my sister is taking those pills i mentioned in my last post too...she said she's lost tonsss of weight.and she doesn't even work out. and that pisses me off. i work out every.day. and i really watch my diet. and it's just stuck on me.i know i need to shock my system, but i don't what what i could possibly do that would shock it anymore than it's already been shocked.

i wish i had a job.i will work anywhere. i just want money.and 'friends'
and something to do.ugh.

i keep getting told to apply online. but that just seems useless b/c i feel like that's not doing anything at all.but, what else can i do. hopefully this nanny gig workout. even if it's part time--at least i'll have somewhat of an income o pay my rent and my credit card bills and give me gas to go party with friends.
i'll even resort to..dare i say it...mcdonalds.eww.

well, i think i'm going to go now.

peace loves.