there are so many things going on right now, I can't even comprehend. I feel like Ana has taken a backseat to my relationship. I know she's waiting for me, right around the corner. When I least expect it she'll jump out and smack me on the face, back into the reality of my disorder.
Andy and I have discussed some things about my eating disorder. We're starting this relationship with honesty...but I don't think he believes me. I haven't really put up a fight when he feeds me...I haven't gone to him then I'm freaking out after eating a piece of garlic bread, or from taking so many laxatives my stomach is cramping from dehydration.
But I'll guess he'll figure that out soon enough. He's wicked smart...and we've talked about getting a place together in the spring/summer...so that means I'll be going back to my old super strict menu. : steamed broccoli/cauliflower, dannon light and fit vanilla yogurt with sliced banana and a bit of granola, or apple slices with crunchy peanut butter. and that is all.
I miss that diet.but living with fellow vegetarians makes it hard to avoid foods..especially when they buy my food. i pretty much have no say.
I'm working at dick's sporting goods now...and i feel like a fat fat fatty every time i work.i'm using that as motivation to get in super shape...and the fact that my boyfriend is a personal trainer...
and with that i'm peacing out, going to do some tai bo and yoga.
xoxox
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