2 in one night

i'm sad now. really sad.
my hot friends B ( and manager from old job) just drunkenly called me.
it repeatedly told me i was stupid from moving away from the south ( even though i;m not from here)
Said i was dumb for wanting to move to L.A. and act.he said it was just a "whim"..and he doesn't like the new me.

if he only knew i've been in love with him since the first heart to heart we shared. maybe then he'd know how deep his words cut.even if he is drunk,and probably won't remember what he said.
i was hoping his call would be for sex.even though i think he has a girlfriend..he can't really hold them down.so they might be split up..i still want to fuck him.
even if he did hurt my feelings, i'd still bang him.over and over.gah....
he said ' i know you, this isn't what you want to do'...we haven't had a realy conversation in about a year.he doesn't know me. he laughed when i told him my short time in the south was a 'finding me' thing.
laughed.
"yea fucking right, that's bull shit"
that's what he said.
my life is bull shit.
FUCK YOU!
fuck you leading me on
fuck you making fun of what i want out of life
fuck you laughing at my dreams and calling me stupid for following them
fuck you for calling me by my last name when you introduced me to your last girlfriend.
fuck you for calling me every time you're wasted/need a dog sitter/need adderall
fuck you for not being a real friend
i told him my entire life story,and he shared his past with me. fuck that. what was that shit, just an act. you'd share your story just because i'm a girl who'd you like to bang, but you're not really sure so you'll just let me think you like me then never call.
fuck this.
i'm ready to move.
to find a fucking guy who doesn't laugh at my goals,who doesn't call me stupid,who doesn't call me ONLY when he's drunk.
fuck.
and i'm still bloated.
but i no longer want food to be any part of my life.
if i where skinner he'd fuck me.
if i weren't such a fucking cow he wouldn't laugh at me.
ugh. good night.
for real this time.